I love having people over for dinner but I've learned that having people over to "cook" can often lead to stress and chaos. ("Too many cooks in the kitchen" as my mom would say.) So now I make foods that I can mostly pre-prep, especially Indian and Mexican where the only cooking to do is cooking tortillas / chapattis which adds a touch of "show" to the event and is easy for others to participate in. Desserts, I make homemade ice cream and will often have a crumble or brownies pre-prepped so it just needs to go in the oven. Like the idea of pouring PX sherry over it!
I'd make more homemade icecream if I had a bit more freezer space. (Though it would probably be more useful than endless tubs of chicken stock!) I think it's the perfect pudding
The Waitrose Danish Apple Tart is delicious, I like it with crème fraiche or soured cream as I find it overly sweet otherwise. In France it used to be considered rude to bring flowers for your hostess, but rather to send some either the day before or the day after (it was to avoid the hostess having to fiddle around with a vase instead of hosting/preparing dinner etc)!
Gosh I've never heard that but, thinking about it, it makes sense. Flowers the following day would be especially appreciated though rather more expensive and troublesome to organise for the donor.
I am a lot quicker these days to make for friends simply what I would make on an ordinary weeknight, rather than cooking something more elaborate. Everybody likes spag bol, or roasted harissa chicken, or bean stew, and I've made the recipes enough times that muscle memory takes over and I enjoy myself a lot more! If I want to make more of an evening of it, I stir a cocktail and put out some salty, crunchy nibbles beforehand, and pull out a pint of nice ice cream for dessert.
I enjoy cooking and there are lots of dishes. I want to eat that don’t justify cooking for one . I also have menus that have worked over the years that can be cooked in advance even for a large crowd. There will be 13 for supper on Saturday for our next fundraiser. All the food will be waiting in the fridge to be reheated or served as I’ll be pottering in the kitchen over the next few days. I don’t think friends want to come round to watch me cook and I want to sit and talk to them. Nibbles around the coffee table with plenty of time to chat before supper is my usual preference… and I always load the dishwasher and clear up before I sober up ! I’m retired nowadays so more time than money ….
Agree. One of the best things about having people over is you can cook a wider range of dishes than if there is only one or two of you. But only if you can have it all virtually done before they arrive.
Lacking commonsense I rely on a number of cook books to help me plan. Gary Rhodes Cooking for Friends contains a range of menus for 4, 6 and 8 people, with guidance of what can be prepared in advance and when and to what stage. James Ramsden's Let's Do Dinner is another one. And Raymond Blanc recipes routinely advise on advance preparation.
Believe it or not I actually wrote one too which I most unprofessionally failed to mention. 🙄 Food Wine & Friends which was published back in 2007, then re-issued with extra cheese content and wine tips as Perfect Pairings in 2012. A case of do as I say rather than do as I do!
This was a very enjoyable read. I agree with most that you say and myself and my partner have an understanding. If it’s family, we are happy to cook a meal/set a buffet, whatever. If it’s friends we always eat out. And never worry about the cost. It’s worth it in so many ways.
The one thing I didn’t agree on is one thing that I guess a lot of your readers would agree with you on. The clearing up, washing up, etc is not a chore for me personally. I worked for a year as a kitchen porter for an independent, quality bakery. So my, early hours of the morning, duties involved all of that, and more. Including cleaning the walls, floors and all the kitchen machinery. Now I can’t stand to see an untidy/unclean kitchen. So, I’m happy to do it all before retiring to bed. Mind you, I am properly retired in the other sense.
I certainly do *some* clearing up before bed - put any perishables in the fridge, put on a dishwasher load but leave the rest till the morning. And would rather quietly potter than have well meaning guests pitching in!
Thanks for a great post. You have inspired me to pluck up courage and start repaying the hospitality that has been shown to me over recent months. So nibbles for staters, pasta main and M&S apple tart for pud or maybe your suggestion of a chocolate brownie with ice cream and PX sherry poured over it!!
Thanks for another great read, Fiona. For me, the approach is to keep it as simple as possible, and do as much in advance as you can (and choose the menu accordingly); and taking care to match the wine decently also makes a huge difference. So you covered it perfectly!
As a natural born 'people pleaser', having people over for supper / dinner, is always an absolute joy...on the VERY rare occasions that one, or rather, WE...(mustn't forget the other half!) do it. However, he is not a natural born host, preffering to almost be an extra 'guest' so I end up serving the drinks, while juggling finishing off multiple dishes and trying to be sociable and not miss out on any goss! However, when these now rare occcasions happen, it's usually only for 1 or 2 very close friends...you know the ones you can talk utter rubbish with when you've had a glass too many and you're really wishing they'd just bog off 'cos your cream crackered...so you tell them just that in the end because that's what good, honest friends do! LOL.
Anyway, in a couple of weeks we / I will...GASP!...potentially have four friends over (5 if include him indoors as a 'guest'...of which three are all involved in the Food, Drink and Hospitality industry here on our little Greek Rock of Kefalonia (...which Fiona you visited a few years ago and we had the pleasure of a brief chinny wag over some rather lovely plonk at Gentilini Winery! ;-)) Anyway, I'm digressing, back to my point which I'm being rather long winded about coming to. So why is this relevant to 'entertaiing on your own'.
Well, the host (moi!) is also a Personal Chef, hence friends expectations are somewhat rather elevated. "Please don't go to too much trouble..."...actually translates as "...we want the whole experience you give your clients" so alas, I'd never get away with doing 1 course and maybe a bought in dessert. I mean, that's why they accepted the invite before I'd even finished asking! It's like saying to someone in Business Class on a plane "would you like an umpteenth glass of Champers"? "Of course I bloody do, that's exactly why I'm flying Business"!
Anyway, since becoming a PC, I also noticed the return dinner invites went as dry as my wine rack does after a said dinner get together! Now it's rare for the invite to be reciprocated - even if I insist they can make me just a bowl of satisfying yummy pasta with a simple side salad...and I bring the (homemade!!) dessert. And on the odd occasion it does happen, more than often I end up in the kitchen or on the BBQ!
Hi Rory and yes, of course I remember you. I do sympathise about the high standards people expect of you. I have friends who think I'm going to disapprove of every wine they pour which is absolutely not the case. Reckon the answer is to get them involved in some way so you all pitch in and cook together but don't know if that would appeal? You're obviously just too competent!
I wonder if we're less likely to have people round for coffee because so many friends live further away than would historically have been the case. Many of my friends have moved hours away and having them over for just coffee feels not enough when they've driven or taken public transport for two or three hours to get here. If they lived a five minute walk away, it would feel more proportionate as well as easier to do something spontaneously!
That's a very good point, Tina. I live in a city so tend to take ease of access for granted. I guess you have to be more organised/have people to stay which brings its own challenges!
Too many of my chums have moved out of London for more space and/or to have kids so logistics do get in the way more than they did when they had to get a tube home!
Great post! I recently moved to a smaller apartment so haven't had anyone around for dinner or lunch yet, but now I feel some inspiration coming on. I often don't do dessert, but there is always a cheese course!
Nigel Slater encourages keeping things simple in my well worn book "Appetite" Inviting friends round for drinks or supper has been a lifesaver for me as I lost my husband after a short sudden illness and it's been a huge adjustment living alone, especially at weekends. I've had amazing support from lovely friends so I love to cook for them as a way of saying thank you and embrace their company Thanks for a super post Fiona and the tips! love the idea of serving desert wine with a bought pudding from Waitrose - brilliant!
That's exactly what happened to me so heartfelt sympathies, LInda. Sharing food with friends is absolutely the way back to feeling good about life again.
The World Happiness Report is an annual barometer across 147 nations by Oxford University.This year’s report found that sharing meals with others was strongly linked with positive wellbeing across all global regions and those who shared more meals with others reported significantly higher levels of life satisfaction and social support.
But dining alone,which is becoming more prevalent, has a negative effect.
The U.K. was 23rd and the USA 24th.Dropping rapidly down the rankings.
“We need to find ways to bring people around the table again- doing so is critical for our individual and collective wellbeing”.Jan- Emmanuel De Neve ,Director of Oxford’s wellbeing research centre.
Interesting, Paul. I wouldn't say dining alone was depressing but maybe that's because it's a comparative rarity. Certainly sitting with others round a dinner table is a great source of joy.
I agree.I lunch alone at least once a week at my favourite cafe ,but I use the occasion to practice my Portuguese on the staff and unfortunatel customers! Apparently though dining alone has increased by 53% in the USA.
Lovely post. As someone who doesn't live alone, but with my partner, who is often very unwell, and for whom I am now their main carer, I've often recently shied away from inviting people over for food. This is because of now having to shoulder all of the shopping/cooking/serving/clearing up, things we always used to share as tasks but we can't any more. So this post got me thinking about the sharing of the tasks amongst friends, an idea which is so simple but I love it. Food for thought and thought for food! Merci Fiona xx
Just brilliant, really what a lot of people ought to bear in mind, so they can relax and enjoy (and friends can, too. Motto for trying times, from an ancient Greek: "Uncomplicate yourself." You did it!
I completely agree with this! A bowl of pasta and some nice red wine (or white. I’m not fussy) with good friends is 100% conducive to a fantastic evening. Less faff, more fun.
I try to cook things which are all prepared and just need heating up. Very rarely cook on the spot apart from a fabulous Balinese fish curry from Rick Stein which doesn’t keep well.
I also tend to cook things I’ve made before, at least once, rather than try out new recipes.
We’ve just moved from England to Scotland and have lots of visitors booked in so lots of cooking coming up.
I have a notebook of what I’ve cooked for folks before and also note them on my Paprika recipe app.
It’s the only app I’ve ever paid for. V useful for downloading recipes or adding your own manually. And while you have the recipe open the screen doesn’t go black.
I love having people over for dinner but I've learned that having people over to "cook" can often lead to stress and chaos. ("Too many cooks in the kitchen" as my mom would say.) So now I make foods that I can mostly pre-prep, especially Indian and Mexican where the only cooking to do is cooking tortillas / chapattis which adds a touch of "show" to the event and is easy for others to participate in. Desserts, I make homemade ice cream and will often have a crumble or brownies pre-prepped so it just needs to go in the oven. Like the idea of pouring PX sherry over it!
I'd make more homemade icecream if I had a bit more freezer space. (Though it would probably be more useful than endless tubs of chicken stock!) I think it's the perfect pudding
The Waitrose Danish Apple Tart is delicious, I like it with crème fraiche or soured cream as I find it overly sweet otherwise. In France it used to be considered rude to bring flowers for your hostess, but rather to send some either the day before or the day after (it was to avoid the hostess having to fiddle around with a vase instead of hosting/preparing dinner etc)!
Gosh I've never heard that but, thinking about it, it makes sense. Flowers the following day would be especially appreciated though rather more expensive and troublesome to organise for the donor.
I am a lot quicker these days to make for friends simply what I would make on an ordinary weeknight, rather than cooking something more elaborate. Everybody likes spag bol, or roasted harissa chicken, or bean stew, and I've made the recipes enough times that muscle memory takes over and I enjoy myself a lot more! If I want to make more of an evening of it, I stir a cocktail and put out some salty, crunchy nibbles beforehand, and pull out a pint of nice ice cream for dessert.
Well you are the cocktail queen so I'm sure that's appreciated. But otherwise yes, keep it simple, keep it homely, keep it comforting!
I enjoy cooking and there are lots of dishes. I want to eat that don’t justify cooking for one . I also have menus that have worked over the years that can be cooked in advance even for a large crowd. There will be 13 for supper on Saturday for our next fundraiser. All the food will be waiting in the fridge to be reheated or served as I’ll be pottering in the kitchen over the next few days. I don’t think friends want to come round to watch me cook and I want to sit and talk to them. Nibbles around the coffee table with plenty of time to chat before supper is my usual preference… and I always load the dishwasher and clear up before I sober up ! I’m retired nowadays so more time than money ….
Agree. One of the best things about having people over is you can cook a wider range of dishes than if there is only one or two of you. But only if you can have it all virtually done before they arrive.
Lacking commonsense I rely on a number of cook books to help me plan. Gary Rhodes Cooking for Friends contains a range of menus for 4, 6 and 8 people, with guidance of what can be prepared in advance and when and to what stage. James Ramsden's Let's Do Dinner is another one. And Raymond Blanc recipes routinely advise on advance preparation.
Believe it or not I actually wrote one too which I most unprofessionally failed to mention. 🙄 Food Wine & Friends which was published back in 2007, then re-issued with extra cheese content and wine tips as Perfect Pairings in 2012. A case of do as I say rather than do as I do!
£3.75 used on Amazon. Bargain.
And Anna del Conte always helps me out!
She's wonderful, yes!
Well, good luck with that, Jacky! And well done you!
This was a very enjoyable read. I agree with most that you say and myself and my partner have an understanding. If it’s family, we are happy to cook a meal/set a buffet, whatever. If it’s friends we always eat out. And never worry about the cost. It’s worth it in so many ways.
The one thing I didn’t agree on is one thing that I guess a lot of your readers would agree with you on. The clearing up, washing up, etc is not a chore for me personally. I worked for a year as a kitchen porter for an independent, quality bakery. So my, early hours of the morning, duties involved all of that, and more. Including cleaning the walls, floors and all the kitchen machinery. Now I can’t stand to see an untidy/unclean kitchen. So, I’m happy to do it all before retiring to bed. Mind you, I am properly retired in the other sense.
I certainly do *some* clearing up before bed - put any perishables in the fridge, put on a dishwasher load but leave the rest till the morning. And would rather quietly potter than have well meaning guests pitching in!
Thanks for a great post. You have inspired me to pluck up courage and start repaying the hospitality that has been shown to me over recent months. So nibbles for staters, pasta main and M&S apple tart for pud or maybe your suggestion of a chocolate brownie with ice cream and PX sherry poured over it!!
Ah, from the sherry tasting? Yes, that's a real show-stopper and so easy!
Thanks for another great read, Fiona. For me, the approach is to keep it as simple as possible, and do as much in advance as you can (and choose the menu accordingly); and taking care to match the wine decently also makes a huge difference. So you covered it perfectly!
Absolutely. The more you can do ahead the better!
As a natural born 'people pleaser', having people over for supper / dinner, is always an absolute joy...on the VERY rare occasions that one, or rather, WE...(mustn't forget the other half!) do it. However, he is not a natural born host, preffering to almost be an extra 'guest' so I end up serving the drinks, while juggling finishing off multiple dishes and trying to be sociable and not miss out on any goss! However, when these now rare occcasions happen, it's usually only for 1 or 2 very close friends...you know the ones you can talk utter rubbish with when you've had a glass too many and you're really wishing they'd just bog off 'cos your cream crackered...so you tell them just that in the end because that's what good, honest friends do! LOL.
Anyway, in a couple of weeks we / I will...GASP!...potentially have four friends over (5 if include him indoors as a 'guest'...of which three are all involved in the Food, Drink and Hospitality industry here on our little Greek Rock of Kefalonia (...which Fiona you visited a few years ago and we had the pleasure of a brief chinny wag over some rather lovely plonk at Gentilini Winery! ;-)) Anyway, I'm digressing, back to my point which I'm being rather long winded about coming to. So why is this relevant to 'entertaiing on your own'.
Well, the host (moi!) is also a Personal Chef, hence friends expectations are somewhat rather elevated. "Please don't go to too much trouble..."...actually translates as "...we want the whole experience you give your clients" so alas, I'd never get away with doing 1 course and maybe a bought in dessert. I mean, that's why they accepted the invite before I'd even finished asking! It's like saying to someone in Business Class on a plane "would you like an umpteenth glass of Champers"? "Of course I bloody do, that's exactly why I'm flying Business"!
Anyway, since becoming a PC, I also noticed the return dinner invites went as dry as my wine rack does after a said dinner get together! Now it's rare for the invite to be reciprocated - even if I insist they can make me just a bowl of satisfying yummy pasta with a simple side salad...and I bring the (homemade!!) dessert. And on the odd occasion it does happen, more than often I end up in the kitchen or on the BBQ!
Hi Rory and yes, of course I remember you. I do sympathise about the high standards people expect of you. I have friends who think I'm going to disapprove of every wine they pour which is absolutely not the case. Reckon the answer is to get them involved in some way so you all pitch in and cook together but don't know if that would appeal? You're obviously just too competent!
Ha! Ha! Totally get it about the wine also. Competant...yes, I guess so, others would say a control freak!! Ha! Ha!
(...lovely to get a reply from you. :-)) )
I wonder if we're less likely to have people round for coffee because so many friends live further away than would historically have been the case. Many of my friends have moved hours away and having them over for just coffee feels not enough when they've driven or taken public transport for two or three hours to get here. If they lived a five minute walk away, it would feel more proportionate as well as easier to do something spontaneously!
That's a very good point, Tina. I live in a city so tend to take ease of access for granted. I guess you have to be more organised/have people to stay which brings its own challenges!
Too many of my chums have moved out of London for more space and/or to have kids so logistics do get in the way more than they did when they had to get a tube home!
Great post! I recently moved to a smaller apartment so haven't had anyone around for dinner or lunch yet, but now I feel some inspiration coming on. I often don't do dessert, but there is always a cheese course!
Or get one of your guests to bring one 😉
Nigel Slater encourages keeping things simple in my well worn book "Appetite" Inviting friends round for drinks or supper has been a lifesaver for me as I lost my husband after a short sudden illness and it's been a huge adjustment living alone, especially at weekends. I've had amazing support from lovely friends so I love to cook for them as a way of saying thank you and embrace their company Thanks for a super post Fiona and the tips! love the idea of serving desert wine with a bought pudding from Waitrose - brilliant!
That's exactly what happened to me so heartfelt sympathies, LInda. Sharing food with friends is absolutely the way back to feeling good about life again.
The World Happiness Report is an annual barometer across 147 nations by Oxford University.This year’s report found that sharing meals with others was strongly linked with positive wellbeing across all global regions and those who shared more meals with others reported significantly higher levels of life satisfaction and social support.
But dining alone,which is becoming more prevalent, has a negative effect.
The U.K. was 23rd and the USA 24th.Dropping rapidly down the rankings.
“We need to find ways to bring people around the table again- doing so is critical for our individual and collective wellbeing”.Jan- Emmanuel De Neve ,Director of Oxford’s wellbeing research centre.
Interesting, Paul. I wouldn't say dining alone was depressing but maybe that's because it's a comparative rarity. Certainly sitting with others round a dinner table is a great source of joy.
I agree.I lunch alone at least once a week at my favourite cafe ,but I use the occasion to practice my Portuguese on the staff and unfortunatel customers! Apparently though dining alone has increased by 53% in the USA.
Lovely post. As someone who doesn't live alone, but with my partner, who is often very unwell, and for whom I am now their main carer, I've often recently shied away from inviting people over for food. This is because of now having to shoulder all of the shopping/cooking/serving/clearing up, things we always used to share as tasks but we can't any more. So this post got me thinking about the sharing of the tasks amongst friends, an idea which is so simple but I love it. Food for thought and thought for food! Merci Fiona xx
It really makes sense in those circumstances, Anne and sorry to hear your partner is so unwell x
Just brilliant, really what a lot of people ought to bear in mind, so they can relax and enjoy (and friends can, too. Motto for trying times, from an ancient Greek: "Uncomplicate yourself." You did it!
Thanks, Brian! Let's keep life as simple as possible
I completely agree with this! A bowl of pasta and some nice red wine (or white. I’m not fussy) with good friends is 100% conducive to a fantastic evening. Less faff, more fun.
That should be our motto!
A great read, Fiona.
I try to cook things which are all prepared and just need heating up. Very rarely cook on the spot apart from a fabulous Balinese fish curry from Rick Stein which doesn’t keep well.
I also tend to cook things I’ve made before, at least once, rather than try out new recipes.
We’ve just moved from England to Scotland and have lots of visitors booked in so lots of cooking coming up.
I have a notebook of what I’ve cooked for folks before and also note them on my Paprika recipe app.
Ooo, don't know about Paprika. Will look it up!
It’s the only app I’ve ever paid for. V useful for downloading recipes or adding your own manually. And while you have the recipe open the screen doesn’t go black.